As a liberal feminist I believe sex is such a fundamental part of any relationship and you must work to keep your sex life 'alive' as much as you can. Recently, there was an article in the Guardian about 'Sex and the over 60s' and people interviewed testified that having a healthy sex life at an older age meant that they were healthier and that their relationships were healthier.
It is not my place to judge those who wish to please their husbands/wives and not themselves and it is not my place to rubbish the institution of marriage and what the act of sex can produce but I truly believe that it is a fundamental human right to be allowed to pleasure ourselves in whatever way we choose and not to shy away from being sexual beings.
Here are some of the best quotes from 'Sex Tips - For Husbands and Wives from 1894'. Courtesy of Ruth Smythers - a pastor's wife who believed it was her duty to inform men and women how they should live their sex lives.
"While sex is at best revolting and at worse rather painful....it has to be endured, and has been by women since the beginning of time , and is compensated for by the monogamous home and the children produced through it."
"A good wife should expect to have reduced sexual conducts to once a week by the end of the first year of marriage and to once a month by the end of the fifth year of marriage"
(There won't be a fifth year if you're not having any sex!!)
"Most men are by nature rather perverted, and if given half a chance, would engage in quite a variety of the most revolting practices"
(I think you'll find that men just enjoy sex . )
"A wise bride will make it the goal never to allow her husband to see her unclothed body, and never allow him to display his unclothed body to her"
(But, how are we supposed to feel comfortable in our skin if we can't get naked in front of the man we love?)
"Sex, when it cannot be prevented, should be practised only in total darkness"
"When he finds her, the wife should lie as still as possible. Bodily motion on her part could be interpreted as sexual excitement by the optimistic husband"
"Many men obtain a major portion of their sexual satisfaction from the peaceful exhaustion immediately after the act is over. Thus the wife must insure that these is no peace in this period for him to enjoy. Otherwise, he might be encouraged to soon try for more"
Extremely useful tips for any married couple right there... I'm sure you'll have a loving, long lasting, children producing, wonderful marriage.