Sep 29, 2012

Rambling feminists

I've decided to post an email exchange between my sister and I in order to share how confused we feel about a young woman in today's world. Obviously it's not the same case for everyone but I'd be interested to know if others feel like this too......

A feminist rant

I'm reading "Bitch: In Praise of Difficult Woman", a feminist tract written years ago and I'm beginning to understand why all of this is so confusing. By all of this I mean the two opposing thoughts that are always inside me. Firstly, the "I'm a feminist, I'm independent, I don't need a guy, if he doesn't like me that's fine."

Secondly, the "how do I act, I shouldn't seem too flirty/desperate, I can't go crazy after he breaks my heart, I need to be self-contained and self possessed and be a lady."

But these are their rules - men's rules. Or, rather, women's rules for living in a man's world. What about my own rules?? Why can't I be both a feminist, and be independent but also sometimes desperately crave a guy's attention and go bat shit crazy when he hurts me?? Why am I advising my sister to cut herself away from her ex, to not make the same mistakes I made with my ex, when I kept emailing/texting him for about 3 months after he broke up with me? I say it's because I don't want her to prolong her hurt but maybe keeping it inside herself is more damaging.

Why do we tell ourselves that we are independent women but then adhere to the societal rules that tell us the "right" way to act with a guy? Because we allll do. I'm probably the worst at this, always telling my girlfriends to relax, just be cool, act like this, don't be like that.

Argh. I'm still as confused as ever but at least I know where my confusion is arising from. We are bombarded from all sides by contradictory messages. You are strong, and you don't need a man...but this is how you should act when you want one.

K bye

First of all, this book sounds fun - I want to read it.

Secondly, being a woman, perhaps more so than being a man is a continuous paradox. It seems, especially those of us who believe in feminist values, that we're condemned to fight with ourselves constantly. But the key to all this confusion is to accept it - I am a feminist but I also want to be held by a man and for him to tell me that he'll love me forever. 

Thirdly, in terms of break ups (which SUCK MASSIVE BALLS!) everyone reacts completely differently and you have to do what you believe is best for you. You should try and listen to your friends and to yourself deep down but fuck it, life's here to make big mistakes and act like a fool because that's the only we learn. Without these shitty times we just wouldn't understand a whole lot of emotions or truly live life to the full. Such a cliche - but 'better to have loved and lost (and become hysterical on the way) than not to have loved at all.....'

I truly believe you can be a feminist (in whatever way you believe a feminist to be) and also be a hysterical, ‘give me some lovin’ NOW’ woman. It's the beauty of being a human being filled with such a variety of emotions.

Accepting that we can be both is hard but I think once we reach that level of acceptance then life will become that little bit easier... I THINK!

S xx


Sep 24, 2012

Fishin' for my supper

There’s something unbelievably relaxing and therapeutic about digging your hands into the soft, wet sand and searching for clams.

This is what my friends and I were doing last Monday (oh how to start every week on the beach, clam-pickin’!) on La Baule beach. A chance stroll down to the beach to awaken our senses led us to hunt for clams for hours. The tide was low and the Baulois were out in full force with their buckets and spades. 

We looked so out of place in our beach/running gear with no bucket and certainly no spade! But off we went, happily squatting down and plunging our hands into the sand. 

After a while we realised that we would not be able to put the clams into our pockets and that our shoes weren’t going to held as many as we thought so one of us went back to a bucket and spade!

I got chatting to a lovely lady who told me how to wash and cook them. She also gave us a plastic bag as she could see we were struggling with our mass of clams! She also taught me the difference between the variety of clams – one you must cook and one can eat raw like an oyster (Delicious!)  

We were beyond successful in our first clam-picking adventure and went home with two bucketfulls! For four of us.......A little optimistic but hey, it was our first time....
Together with google, painters’ tips and our French lady friend from the beach we produced this:

Mini recipe if you ever find yourself picking clams on a September morning...!

*Wash the clams out at least 5-6 times to get rid of the sand
*Separate out the darker ones so you can open them and eat them raw with a hint of lemon – YUM!
*Cook white wine (not too much....!), shallots and garlic
*Add clams and put lid on
*Add cream when they start opening
*Eat with bread or spaghetti (you can even make yourself a spaghetti alle vongole)

It is such a lovely lovely feeling being able to eat what you’ve spent hours collecting, washing and cooking. It feels clean, natural and fresh. You’re fruits of labour are rewarded with a rich and delicious meal ....  There’s definitely something to be said for pre supermarket days when you had to go and pick your food from the land.

Here’s to my first fishing experience (of sorts) and to the many more that are to come!


One Billion Rising

  • Over a billion women are violated each year.

  • One in three women on the planet will be raped or beaten in her lifetime.

  • Violation can range from rape, female genital mutilation, and domestic violence to sexual harassment and honour killings.

Let’s not sit still and let this violation continue but let’s RISE and DANCE.

Watch this video and find out where you can join in:


Sep 12, 2012

10 Things You Should Do Right Now

Currently addicted to Thought Catalog and here's a post I was inspired by today..

30 Things You Should Do Right Now.
I've picked my top 10

1. Floss. Shut up about blood and it getting stuck in your teeth or a general fear of dentistry and just floss.

2. Sell your microwave. You’d be shocked how much healthier you eat when you have to clean a pan after every meal.

3. Read books. Don’t blow your money on a Kindle under the premise that it’ll make you read more. Reread a book you were forced to read in high school and go from there.

4. Drink chamomile tea. It’s good for nearly every part of your body. Stop hoping one more cup of coffee will halt the shaking and you’ll magically end up on the other side of sanity like Buddha during a fast. Drink some calming, honey-laden tea and think for a second.

5. Read your local news. What’s going on in Syria or Mitt Romney’s hair is important, yes, but it doesn’t really affect your everyday life. Like it or not, you are subject to traffic reports and crime rates much more than you are to Paul Ryan.

6. Drive through that area of town everyone tells you not to. Poor people are not hiding in foreign countries; they just shop at a different store than you. Don’t be a tourist, but don’t hit “Detour” on your Garmin when you leave the safety of gentrification.

7. Find an appliance in your home and take it apart, then put it back together. I wouldn’t suggest your computer or Tivo, but maybe your toaster or alarm clock. Realize what goes into the things around you that make your life so easy.

8. Remember that you live in this world, not your own, and reality has a way of biting you while your back is turned. It doesn’t play by rules and doesn’t give a shit about your dreams or plans. Be prepared. Don’t panic. 

9. Try new things sexually. Set some boundaries, but be open to most anything.

10. Write something every day. Doesn’t matter if it’s a bitch-fest against your roommate or the philosophical ponderings brought on by an episode of Breaking Bad. Write a review of everything you encounter: sandwiches, intersections, elevator music. Realize that no matter your stature, about 1% of what you write will ever be seen by anyone but you


Sep 1, 2012

Vajazzle - No, thanks

Recently my new waxist asked me if I was interested in Vajazzle....... I politely declined after initiating a fairly feminist driven argument explaining why I would never want to Vajazzle my pubic bone. She countered my arguments by saying that most women do it for fun (really?!) and that they do it for themselves.... Again, really?! 


I don't really understand where the idea of sticking loads of small diamantee on your pubic bone came from and how it became so popular? For me, it's just another way of rejecting 'the natural' and sexing up our private parts. Making the ugly beautiful. I completely reject that - why ruin an area of our body which produces so much pleasure with shiny, diamond-esque object? Surely that detracts from the 'main aim' of the area. 

Maybe these women who vajazzle aren't comfortable with their pubic area or what comes with it so they need to be distracted? That's quite depressing... There are many more ways of distracting yourself and vajazzling ain't one of them... 

Women already feel pressured to be completely hairless about 90% of the time (10% is just the 'grow back' phase) and now we're being asked if we want to vajazzle, bleach and tan our pubic area. I just want to be left alone and I don't want 100000 more options.

I would be genuinely interested to know women who have got it done and who are into Vajazzling their private parts. Pray tell, why do you do it?

NB. Apparently the most popular ones this year are:

THE UNION JACK - to celebrate the Queen...and anything else extremely British 

    THE OLYMPIC RINGS.... #London2012


SLUT cure

This is a brilliant video, really highlighting importance of 'Legitimate Rape'...Check out what it can do for YOU, you slut.